Yep.He can shove 'em up his arse.And fuck off while he's doing it... :D

The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy (40th+ view, Peter Jackson, 2001 - 2003) Righto. So, over the weekend I rewatched the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Needless to say, I loved them. I’m fairly certain that everyone here knows I love them. Here’s just a few things I love about them. I love the music. I love every single second of the music. I love Howard Shore’s composing genius. I love the way that over 60 themes are beautifully woven together to create one seamless score of 11 hours. I love the incredibly intricate, almost insane level of detail that’s gone into the films. I love the gift giving. I love the design that has gone into the costumes and the armour and the weaponry and the buildings. I love the fact that every culture is made out to be steeped in history. I love the fact that every building looks used. I love “Into the West”. I love the fact that every weapon looks like a work of art. I love Gandalf. I love Ian Mckellen’s performance. I love how expressive his eyes are. I love his commanding delivery of lines. I love the fact that I’ll probably never truly understand all the intricacies of music. I love the fact the music we won’t hear fully until the end of Return Of The King can be heard faintly halfway through Fellowship. I love the incredibly intricate, almost insane level of detail that’s gone into the films. I love the design that has gone into the costumes and the armour and the weaponry and the buildings. I love the design of the orcs and the goblins and the Uruk-Hai. I love Gandalf vs. the Balrog. I love Aragorn. I love Viggo Mortensen in a career best performance. I love the way his character changes in the films. I love his introduction, his resourcefulness, his honour, and his apprehension at following his destiny, his loyalty to his friends. I love the shriek of the Ringwraiths. I love the themes of honour, courage, loyalty, redemption, temptation, friendship, betrayal and sacrifice on display. I love Shelob. I love the hero shot of the Fellowship with that awesome music blasting out. I love the work of Jim Rygiel. I love Sam. I love Sean Astin’s performance and the way he shows courage and integrity. I love Gandalf and Pippin’s arrival at Minis Tirith. I love the poster for Fellowship with the warning yet beckoning imagery. I love the steely swish of Anduril. I love the low rumble through the caverns of Moria. I love that the multiple endings are really only one ending. I love Weathertop. I love the Balrog. I love the oliphaunts. I love the fell beasts. I love that these look bloody well real most of the time. I love the Fellowship theme. I love the Rohan theme. I love the Gondor theme. I love the look of the Ringwraiths. I love the Hobbits theme. I love the Isengard theme. I love the Fangorn theme. I love the Silver trumpets theme. I love the scene of Faramir’s doomed charge on Osgiliath. I love the Heroics of Aragorn theme. I love the watery horses summoned by Arwen. I love the Seduction of the Ring theme. I love Treebeard’s voice. I love the Rivendell theme. I love the music for the Argonaths. I love all of the themes. I love the opening of The Two Towers, that long spectacular plummet. I love the beautiful artwork of Gilrean’s memorial. I love the lighting of the beacons. I love Ben Del Maestro’s solos. I love the opening of Return Of the King, that transformation of Gollum. I love the fact that every weapon looks like a work of art. I love the fact that each costume looks as if the character owns it. I love the fact that almost every frame of the film has this sense of detail. I love the work of Ngila Dickson. I love Boromir. I love Sean Bean in his best performance. I love how damned interesting he is. I love the way in which he dies. I love the relationship he has with Faramir. I love the amazing Gollum/Smeagol argument.. I love the pattern on Bilbo’s waistcoat. I love the horse motif emblazoned throughout the lands of Rohan. I love the White Tree of Gondor on Boromir’s vambraces. I love the beautiful design of Galadriel’s cloak. I love the hilt of Herugrim. I love the battle of Helm’s deep. I love the Fellowship gazing in awe upon the Argonaths. I love the fact that after countless hours of listening to the score I’m still discovering new aspects to the music. I love the fact that I never tire of the music. I love the fact that it is the ONLY music (be it film, classical, rock or pop etc) that I am always, always in he mood to listen to. I love the fact that just a single second of the music, a few notes from a theme can instantly transport me back to the films, capturing all the feelings and emotions again. I love the majesty of Minis Tirith. I love the dankness of Bree. I love the arrival of Grond. I love the quaintness of Hobbiton. I love the ethereal beauty of Lothlorien, I love the lights in Galadriel’s eyes. I love the autumnal colours of Rivendell that fade. I love Billy Boyd’s singing voice. I love the vastness of Dwarrowdelf. I love the angular look of Moria. I love the cold harshness of Helms Deep. I love the weird twisted nature of Fangorn forest. I love the sharp obsidian spike that is Isengard, I love the fact that it’s bloody hard to tell at times that these places don’t actually exist. I love the model work. I love the work from the Weta workshop and Richard Taylor. I love the hilt of Herugrim. I love the use of various choirs in the films score. I love the plentiful ruins that can be seen throughout the trilogy, highlighting the fact that this land is millennia old. I love the fact that none of this seems created. I love the fact that it all seems real. I love the fact that this most fantastical of worlds has been brought so vividly to life. I love Faramir. I love David Wenham’s performance. I love the way he tears up when his father wishes him ill. I love how he only wants to do right for his kingdom. I love the John Howe and Alan Lee were involved. I love the fact that their work can be seen in every aspect of the films. I love the fact that the music is a perfect accompaniment to the images we see on screen. I just love the score. I love Gollum. I love the duplicitous and ambiguity of the character. I love how he looks like Andy Serkis, I love Serkis’ voice. I love how he was created. I love the CGI. I love the use of practical effects alongside CGI. I love the use of miniatures and bigatures and painting and sets and animatronics, all combined to make Middle Earth a reality. I love that none of this ever detracts from the story at hand and only ever serves to heighten the desperation and broaden the emotional impact. I love the fact that some of the most spectacular images are little more than awesome scenery coupled with great music. I love Andrew Lesnie’s cinematography. I love the makeup and prosthetics. I love Theoden, I love Bernard Hill’s performance. I love how he portrays a world weary but honourable man. I love all of the characters. I love all of the performances. I love the prologue to The Fellowship, the history of Middle earth. I love the use of Sir James Galway in the music. I love the beautiful artwork that closes the trilogy. I love how I love the films more with every viewing. I love how after 40 views I’m still discovering things I hadn’t noticed before. I love the fact that they keep me entranced from the first bars of music in The Fellowship to the closing credits of Return of the King. I love the fact that they move me so. I love the fact that they make me cry. I love the fact that they hit me harder every time. I love “I would have followed you to he end”. I love “I’m coming with you”. I love “We will not abandon Merry and Pippin”. I love the last March of The Ents. I love “The tales that really matter”. I love The Ride Of The Rohirrim. I love Theoden’s death. I love “For Frodo”. I love “You bow to no one”. I love the Grey Havens. I love that these are just a handful of scenes that move me to tears. I love that I’m still a it teary an hour after I’ve finished watching them. I love the fact I’m going to be on an emotional high for the next week. I love the fact that it’s been 6 and a half years since I first saw The Fellowship, 4 and a half since Return, and not one of the thousands of films I’ve seen before or since can match them. I love the wonderful heart and soul of the films. I love that nothing else in the history of film or TV or literature has ever so captured my imagination and raised my spirits. I love that this most fantastical, imaginative story is the one that seems most human to me. I love that it’s the ultimate tale of good versus evil. I love the fact that that I love them so in spite of their flaws, of which there are many. I love the fact that all the aspects come together to form such a wonderful, satisfying, fulfilling and complete whole. I love so much about them that I could never hope to accurately set it all down. I don’t think I’m even sure why I love them so and it’s this more than anything, this magic, unique, one of a kind ingredient that makes them so special, that makes me love them all the more. In short, I love The Lord of the Rings. :D

Best post I've ever read Gimli! I can only say I agree, 100%. :D

Cheers guys!

Yep,great stuff Gimli... Absolute classic.5/5

I second that Cuch!! ;) Anyways... The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997), A surprising good comedy starring Bill Murray, it's also a tad underrated too. Murray plays Wallace Ritchie, a video shop owner who goes to London to see his brother James (Peter Gallagher). For Wallace's birthday, James books him into an experimental interactive theatre experience, but one misunderstanding leads to another, and Wallace finds himself embroiled in a real-life spy plot, but he all thinks it's an act, and he's mistaken for a real spy. The film has some very funny sequences in it, and Murray is a perfect match for the material, director Jon Amiel keeps up a good pace throughout the film, plus the film has a few familiar faces in it, including Alfred Molina, John Thomson and Richard Wilson!! :D 4/5

The Signal- Dude, if you like bloody mayhem, you gotta watch this crazy film. Be Kind Rewind- disappointed me more than entertained me.

The Missionary (1982), a quite charming British comedy from Handmade Films. Michael Palin wrote the film, and stars in it as the Reverend Charles Fortescue, who after 10 years in Africa, returns home to 1906 England, where he is asked by the Bishop of London, (Denholm Elliot), to start up a Mission for London's Fallen Women, (AKA Prostitutes). Fortescue finds a backer for the Mission in the form of Lady Isabel Ames (Maggie Smith), wife of old curmudgeon Lord Ames (Trevor Howard). Lady Ames agrees to finance it if Fortescue sleeps with her, but he's already engaged to Deborah Fitzbanks (Phoebe Nicholls). It's very close in tone to Palin's own Ripping Yarns, and one might argue it could have worked better as one, but on the whole it works, it's beautifully shot, and it does have some very funny moments in it, director Richard Loncraine keeps the tone up throughout the film, and it does have a very good supporting cast, including Timothy Spall, David Suchet, Neil Innes and a scene-stealing Michael Hordern as the Ames' forgetful old butler Slatterthwaite. :P 4/5

Black Sheep - Very bizarre but funny in a sick and weird kind of way. I don't like horror as a genre most of the time but this is really only black comedy with a lot of mutated sheep and gore. Very silly. I did have to be told to shut up at least twice though, after commenting on the realistic possibilities of genetically mutating sheep into psychotic killers. Bring it On: In It To Win It - Any film with the line "It's a cheer-saster! It's a cheer-tastrophe! It's a cheer-eclipse of the sun!" automatically rocks, in my view. A typical by-the-numbers stupid trashy american teeny bopper chick flick. It was truly, utterly awful, and god help me, I loved it.

300 (2007), the old sword & sandals epic gets one hell of a shot in the arm with director Zack Snyder's film based on Frank Miller's comic book. It's an interpretation of Greek history, and it has Spartan King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) leading 300 Spartans to fight to the death against the vast impending army of Persian King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), with Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) back in Sparta trying to rally up support to fight against the Persian army. It's a very different kind of historical epic, but it's visually stunning, and very faithful to the original comic book as well. It's as camp as hell, with all the big, hunky warriors on display, it's near homo-erotic, but the action scenes are visually stunning. Zack Snyder did wonders bringing it to life, and he's doing the same for Watchmen!! :D 4/5

Phantom of the Paradise (1974), a weird horror/musical/comedy written and directed by Brian De Palma. A fusion of the tales of Faust and Phantom of the Opera, this has disfigured musician Winslow Leach (William Finley), who tries to get his revenge upon the corruptly Satanic record mogul Swan (Paul Williams), who stole Winslow's music. Now behind a mask, Winslow's soul now belongs to Swan, who betrays him again, and even tries to groom young Phoenix (Jessica Harper) for stardom with Winslow's work. Another mad rock film from the 1970's, but it has good music, written by Williams, yet it is a world away from De Palma's darker films such as Carrie, Scarface and The Untouchables. However, it's a pity we don't get odd music films like this anymore, but they were products of their time, they probabily wouldn't work now. 3/5

Hot Fuzz (2nd view, 2007) - Frequently very funny comedy from the boys who gave us Shaun Of The Dead. While not quite as chucklesome as the previous effort there is much to enjoy, not least a supporting cast filled with a whole host of recognisable British faces. Plus, Peter Jackson and Cate Blanchett appear, and that can't be a bad thing - 4/5 Ronin (3rd view, 1998) - Splendid thriller from John Frankenheimer featuring a very good performance from Robert De Niro, who is ably backed by the likes of Sean Bean, Jean Reno and Stellen Skarsgard. It's an intelligent action film that features some of the best care chases every put to film - 4/5 Five Corners (1st view, 1987) Jodie Foster and Tim Robbins star in this drama, back from the days before they were oscar winners and household names. It takes place in new Yok in 1964, and the two leads are placed in jeopardy by John Turturro's ex-convict. Worth a watch - 4/5 The Incredible Hulk (1st view, 2008) - A different take on the big green man's story, less concerned with the his origins and more about his usefulness in a fight. The action scenes are quite thrilling, but the Hulk himself looks very poor, and the heart of the film is misplaced. Still, Norton is fine and it is good fun overall - 4/5 American Splendour (1st view, 2003) - A dramatised biographical documentary about the life of comic book writer Harver Pekar. Paul Giamatti plays Peker and he's excellent, as is Hope Davis as his wife. The flm is worth watchig mainly for these two, as the main story certainly isn't that interesting and the quirkiness of the film begins to grate after a while - 3/5